You’re still here
Right here with me
Though I’ll never hear your voice
Or see your cheeky fucking grin

You’re not gone at all
I still have to cry
There’s no way around it
To keep you here
Right here in my heart
Where you belong

I thought you’d gone
But you’re right here
Just cry a little more
Your voice a little clearer
Your face a little nearer
Cry some more
Breathe a little deeper

I still have you here
Because you loved me
And I loved you
And we had some fun
In this world

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

tether


Well I’ve drunk so much now
That I can’t even sleep
And my skin won’t stop crawling
The secrets it keeps

I try to reach out
But I always fall short
I try to reach out
But the distance contorts

And this secret dismay
Couldn’t open my mouth
To tell you I know
What this mess is about

To tell you I’m cold
That I’m frozen alone
To tell you there’s love here
That no one has known

So much bottled up
You could label and sell it
But the stink of this drink
Or the truth you can smell it

And yeah, I’m at the end of my tether
I’d find a way through but I’m just not that clever

So I’m waving this flag
And I’m hoping you’ll see
The answer you’re craving is me.

Well I’ve slept so much now
That I can’t even dream
These shadows around me
So big and so mean

They threaten me harm
in a cold dark place
Laugh at my dreams
as they spit in my face

I dream of a life
That I’ll never achieve
Some fantasy
I no longer believe

Yeah where is the day
That I no longer care
When the sun breaks through
To your long black hair

And yeah, I’m at the end of my tether
I’d find a way through but I’m just not that clever
So I’m waving this flag and I’m hoping you’ll see
The answer you’re craving, it’s me

Now the suns gone cold
And the beer’s too hot
And everything you are
Is everything I’m not.

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

Swim me out as far as you can
So far away from warm dry sand
Float me away for a year and a day
Wash out the bad that’s had its day

Send me a smile to crack my face
Frozen shame of class and race
Send me a dream and a golden staff
You’re so sweet you make me laugh

Dry my eyes and wet my lips
Hold my face in your fingertips
Tell me I’m good and I’m not to blame
Dance with me in the pouring rain

And my friend we will be free

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

S.O.S

Now I spend every night alone.
Mocked by the silence of the telephone.
Head case bed base
you spat it back into my face.
Beyond the dark a human voice
beyond the dark my only choice.

I’ve slept so much
I can’t remember your touch
I can’t remember my love.
I can’t remember your name.

Mother sometimes I feel so lame I wish you’d taught me how to play this game.
Father sometimes I feel so lame I just wish.

Now I spend every night alone.
Across my seething consciousness I roam.
Never ending always sending,
S.O.S. this boy needs mending.

I’ve slept so much
I can’t remember your touch
but my pain surprise,
I remember your eyes.

Mother sometimes I feel so lame I wish you’d taught me how to play this game.
Father sometimes I feel so lame I just wish.
Just wish.

Now I spend every night alone
Trapped inside this paper home
Broken down
Run aground
When the hell are you coming over

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

Quiet

Quiet
Dreams
Wires
Swinging in the breeze

Hope
Waste
Can’t take
Bitter taste

So tight
So blind
Don’t leave
Behind

A hand
On mine
Breathe out
Unwind


Let go
Let show
This pain
I know
Be still
Don’t act
My joy
Come back

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

Metal and Wood

Looking for me
Nothing to be found
I’m crying up here from my moral high ground

I can see very well
What you’re desperate to say
I’d take the thought from your mind if I only had a way

We’re two of a kind
so misunderstood
So beautiful together
Like metal and wood
If only I could
If only I could:

Take the lump from my throat
Take the words that I wrote
Take the chill from my eyes
Take the sweet sunrise
Make the city shake
With the noise I make
I could have you
I could love you
Like I love the sky
Like I love the rain
Like I love the insane
Like I feel when I cry
Like I feel your thighs
Just to do one right
Could be worth all this night
All this night.

Feelings surround me
Feeling so lost
Digging around in the morning frost

Trying too hard
Get it all wrong
Blame myself for way too long

We’re two of a kind
So brilliant and bright
Burning stars in the
Morning light

If only we might…

every now I pace around
searching the sky
searching the ground

some trace of what
I know was here
The dream that died and turned to fear

And as I try to walk away
A trembling step to a better day
I hear the old familiar cry
You move you die, you move you die

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

The Mirror

I sit at home and touch the phone.
You stripped me back like meat from bone.
It’s easy these days just to stay awake.
Always listening out for the sounds you make.

And I can’t tell you what I want
And I can’t tell you what I need
But I just feel your hand beneath
And I know you are lying through your teeth

I fall from grace, the grace of youth.
Of giving you head in a telephone booth.
I love the sound you make when I cry.
The spirit fly’s free, a soul unborn.
A struggle for power in the earth grey dawn.
All these wars are fought but never won.
Well they’re never won.

And I can’t tell you what I want
And I can’t tell you what I need
But I just feel your hand beneath
And I know you are lying through your teeth

Fear lives in our deepest being.
The way you look at me I feel so unclean.
And this dirt dragged sack of sex could never change.
But I’m stronger than this, I’m stronger than you’ll ever know.
I can take the shit you throw, turn it into a mirror, see your reflection break.
Better take what you can take.

I’m colder than this, I’m colder than you’ll ever fucking know.
I don’t feel the love you throw. Turn it into an object take it apart.
This is not my heart, not my heart.

Like reflected stars light up your face, divisions of time and divisions of space.
When I’m afraid to love I cannot dream.
I cannot dream.

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

Why spend one more night crying?
Why?
Why spend one more moment dying?
To be in your arms?
Like you could heal this pain I bare.
Like you could ever hold me.
Your arms like paper
They Tear away
They Tear away

Why should I believe you?
What on earth do you know?
You will never help me
This I surely know

So talk a little less now
And hear a little more
I hold all the keys now
And I guard the fucking door

You think it’s feeling hard now?
You think you feel confused?
I’ll take your every dream away
And leave you dead and used.

I hate the ground you walk on
I hate your smile so true
I hate your selfish fucking face
And everything that’s you

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

I have gone deep into the dark places. I carried the memory, carried the flame. A tiny light to keep me alive. A tiny light to show the way. Under mountains and through the cold places, into danger and into fury. I carried it alone, and afraid. I fought off attackers in the dark tunnels, I fled down long winding corridors. The light threatened to go out. The flame almost died. I nursed it. I hated it. I loved it. I continued even when I had forgotten that it was there. Forgotten what I was journeying for. Why I continued to put one foot in front of the other. I broke down; lost and afraid. Not knowing anything anymore. Unwilling to live, and all my fight gone. It was then that the light showed itself to me again. Showed me the way. The long, long way. I wept at the distance still to go. I wept for my broken heart. I wept for my terrible fury. And I began the long journey home. I climbed for years back up through the dark. Using only the light that I needed to keep going, and to show others the way back too. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. I know patience. I learnt it.
I emerged at a darkened sea shore. Still carrying your light. I looked at the dark sea. I walked to the water, and I began to swim. Keeping your light afloat, and out of the sea, I swam with all my strength. I swam through the storms, and through calm seas. Through long lonely nights, where I again heard death calling my name, but I will never answer that call. I will never. I swam till my lungs and muscles were bursting. And then I swam some more. Finally, exhausted, I let the light go.
It didn’t fall! It just sat there above the water, calm and pure. Showing me the way. I wept for my long toil. I wept with relief. I wept with joy. And my feet touched sand.
I walked out of the ocean, and the light followed. I was assailed by dark forces. I drew my sword and there was a blinding flash. There was no fight. They fled in terror at my power. At my goodness, at my faith and at my love.

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.

Breaking ice from frozen hull
Once again the cries of gulls
Call me out into the dawn
Past the dying night forlorn

Past the cart stuck in the muck
And past the wastes of bad, bad luck
Reaching slowly to my side
Oldest secret I can’t hide

Terrified my Heart it trembles
Calling out what it remembers
Softly now we’re nearly sailing
All the crew can stop their bailing

Wind picks up and eyes fill fast
Steady hand upon the mast
Raise the lantern raise the glass
Draw my sword I’m holding fast

only one way out from here
Past my guilt and past my fear
Breaking bonds and breaking rules
Breaking down the work of fools

--
You are good. Everything else is a lie.